I was thinking yesterday about the change that I wrote about. Our family had a bit of a rough one, but I think it has been good for us. I feel stronger. I feel more empowered to go and do. Part of that has to do with not only how I look at my photography, but how I photograph. I found myself, after a summer of crazed disappointment in my behavior with clients (nothing bad, I just started crying while shooting a wedding, after a bit of criticism, and couldn't stop), scared to shoot photos. Scared to shoot, edit, anything to do with picking up my camera. I saw my beloved hobby as a beast, nothing fun about it anymore. All it became was me not thinking I was as good as others. We all know how that feels.
I had a summer of learning. Learning to be patient, learning to trust myself. A whole summer of trying not to be stagnant. And the other day I had an epiphany, after reading a statement from one of my favorite photographers, Jonathan Canlas. Some one asked him if film presets, or actions, in Photoshop could give a photo a film feel - well, Jonathan shoots strictly film (you should check out his book) so I thought this was a stupid question to ask such a prominent film photog, but whatever. His answer was simple, 'I don't know maybe. I don't really care what other people are doing to be honest...'
After reading this I thought, 'Of course, who cares what everyone else is doing, just do what you want - get the look you want from your photos.' So, that is just what I intent to do. I wanted to display some of the improvements I've made over the years with my photos.
In every case I was happy with the result, it has just taken me a while to get to the point where I can say, 'Yes! That's the effect I've been wanting all along.' I look back as these photos and remember how much fun I have had with every single one of my clients - I don't think I would change anything. What's the point of growing if one day we just stop the growth? If that makes sense.
So, I will continue to improve. I will strive to do the best I can, not caring what anyone else is doing. This is how I am happy, that is how you are happy. I do my own thing. You should do yours!
Matt, Erin & Tempe