Thursday, March 25, 2010

Wedding Don'ts

I got an email from my dad the other day - he wrote before all the pictures, "No, you cannot use any of these as reference photos." Silly dad, he thought these were hilarious - as did I. So, here are a few wedding don'ts to remember!
1. Never sit on your groom - this reminded me of the little painting Anastasia drew for her grandma in Fox's animated version of "Anastasia" - the one where Ulga said it looked like a pig riding a donkey. This was a poor choice on the photographer's part.
2. Also, suspension over a keg, while wearing your wedding dress - not a pretty site. 
3. Don't let Princess Leia officiate - especially while wearing the gold bikini, and maybe you'd like your bride to see your face during the ceremony, you think? 
4. Camouflage is not a theme - unless you don't want to be seen under that hideous arch. Also, make your groom dress up - how lazy was this guy, he thought, "maybe after the ceremony I can pull out my rifle and shoot us some grub for the reception."
5. Always try to look pleasant - it is your wedding day after all. Man, that wedding looks like a drag.
6. Don't pick a cake that looks like blood when smeared on your face - looks like there was a brawl at your wedding and you lost.
7. It's would be really creepy to walk into a reception and see a life-size cake of the bride - how self-righteous is this woman?
8. Why would you graffiti your wedding party, not to mention your WEDDING DRESS - and did you notice it says, "wifey" on her butt!? My brother got a shirt with this writing style on it when we were in Las Vegas - 17 YEARS AGO.
9. This one is self-explanatory. Wow, they look like a hoot.
10. Obviously these two were getting married on that Star Wars planet where the aliens were duplicating Jengo Fett. Kind of Star Wars meets Pirates of the Caribbean meets The Lord of the Rings - with a Gothic twist.
There you are - remember that your wedding should reflect you, not incriminate you.
Happy week everyone!